"I want to make Aliyah but..." / Aliyah Propoganda

Today I called a friend of mine that I haven't spoken to in several months to see how he was doing. He got married within a year ago and the last time I saw him was probably at his wedding. He is a very intelligent, hard-working, friendly, ben-Torah who I always considered to be one of my more zionistic friends and I always thought he would definitely make Aliyah. Unfortunately, he shocked me today by informing me that his wife and her parents can't live apart - so essentially his Aliyah dream is dead.

Rav Shachter gave a shiur some year ago at Mt. Sinai (I believe it is on Torahweb.org) where he says Aliyah aspirations should not be among the pre-date questions. When I first heard the shiur I agreed with him wholeheartedly, and even advised some friends to follow that advice, but after today I gave it some thought and I think he is wrong. (I know some consider me disrespectful for disagreeing with HaRav but I am confident that he would only encourage me to voice my dissenting opinion.)

The location of where you want to live and raise your family is a vital issue and should clearly be addressed before getting married. Why not get it out of the way at the beginning like genetic testing? Why waste time dating someone that doesn't want to raise their family in the Holy Land, regardless of their reason? Where you raise your family will have a major impact on your progeny and what your legacy in this world will be.

Obviously personality, midot, hashkafa are important, but let's be frank, doesn't a commitment to Eretz Yisroel say a lot about one's devotion to religion? As much as we like to joke about how Bnei Akiva is only focused on Israel at the expense of Torah, doesn't Israel and Torah go hand in hand? Wasn't Bnei Yisroel punished for not returning to Eretz Yisroel during Ezra and Nechemia - regardless of their reason? (And I am sure many used the Torah, family/friends and parnassa cards.)

If Rav Shachter would agree that asking whether a guy or girl is a ben/bat torah is an appropriate question, then asking if someone plans on leaving his homeland, the place he was born, his parents home to live in the land God chose should be just as valid.

(I for one am glad that I am not dating in the U.S. right now so I don't have to ask the silly question: "Do you plan on making Aliyah?" To which the answer is almost always yes, even though most have not given it a bit of real thought yet - but know the correct in vogue answer is a wholehearted yes. )

I am constantly troubled by people that say they want to make Aliyah but then don't. Are these people lying through their teeth? Just don't think before they speak? Live in a fantasy world? On drugs?

If you want to make Aliyah - DO IT!

I am very impressed with my friends the Erdfarbs that recently made Aliyah. He left a very good job at a very prestigious firm because his plan when they got married was to go to Israel within 3 years and that is exactly what they did. I find it very rare that people actually follow through with these declarations. (My joke was always that I have a 10-year plan on making Aliyah - no matter how many years went by it was always a 10-year plan.)

I am reminded of Al Pacino's remarkable speech in Scent of a Woman when he says, "Now I have come to the crossroads in my life. I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew. But I never took it. You know why? Because it's too damn hard. Now here's Charlie; he's come to the crossroads. And he's chosen a path. It's the right path. It's a path made of principle, that leads to character. Let him continue on his journey."

I believe most people do generally know what is right and what is wrong, but they choose the easy path. It is easier to stay in the same place than move to another so that is what they do.

I understand my friends issues, and I wish he never would have gotten into this sort of problem. But now that he is there, I hope anyways that someday him and his wife will be able to realize his dream.

(And yes I realize I have not made Aliyah - but at least I'm giving it a try, tough guy.)