Depressed

This has been the hardest week since my first week in Israel. It has become clear to me that my coworkers don't really care if I have a life outside of the office and would prefer that I sleep there (as long as I would pay rent). If they had chained me to the desk I would not have known as I rarely left my chair. This has been one week but I feel like I have aged a full year.

This has been extremely depressing to me as this move was supposed to be a lifestyle change. I have done this all before and I counted down the seconds that I could leave my last prison swearing to never return to that lifestyle - where I have little to no control over my life.

When I was recruited here I was definitely told my lifestyle would be different which really upsets me. I realize now that I am the same monkey working like a dog.

I do not want to get into more detail about my depressing week (as it only depresses me more), but I am seriously questioning one of my major life goals.

As you all know, I consider myself to be very low maintenance (or as some of you put it "cheap"). I have no problem living on the bare minimum as long as that allows me to have more time. Basically one of my goals is to make enough money so that I can comfortably support a family on interest.

I can't say I am close to the goal yet, but in this profession it would most likely be do able when I am still youngish (obviously later years there is higher salary). The question is, is it worth trading your best years (your 20/30's) for later years. I use to think yes, because it's a few years verse who knows how long, but I am starting to think otherwise.

I am thinking more and more the 9-5 derech is just a better way to live.

I am now exhausted and am heading to sleep.

(Oh yeah, and we don't get off for New Years or Xmas...)

Oh and sorry this blog has been such a drag lately and unfunny. Hopefully life will be better soon and I'll be humurous again... I for one hope so.