I Love Hebrew

On Friday I went to the dry cleaner to get some pants cleaned. As usual I mixed up my Hebrew words.

Me: Shalom, can I get my naalaim (shoes) cleaned?
Him: Um, no...
Me: How much does it cost?
Him: I don't clean naalaim.
Me: What's wrong with you, your a dry cleaner. How could you not clean naalaim?
Him: I'm a dry cleaner not a shoe maker. I'll clean the minchnasaim (pants) you have in your hands though.
Me: I hate you.
Him: That will be 25 shekel each.
Me: What?! In America it cost like $4!
Him: I'm a poor Israeli it's Tzedaka.
Me: I hate you.

Another story about my Hebrew mixups happened a few months ago, but I can't recall if I shared it with you but since were on the topic...

I went into a restaurant...
Me: Is this place kosher?
Her: Yes.
Me: Can I see your teudat zehut (I.D)?
Her: What?
Me: Can I see your teudat zehut?
Her: Um...
(Me wondering why she is so confused...)
Me: Oh sorry! Can I see your teudat kashrut (kosher certification)!
Her: Ha ha (thinking what a tourist...)

I think even when I do decide to start improving my Hebrew that I will occasionally use wrong words just for kicks. This whole language thing is really fun sometimes, especially if you make mistakes on purpose. (Mine have all been honest mistakes but hopefully in the future I will be able to do it on purpose. )

Imagine walking into a clothing store and just asking for weird things with a straight face such as "Do you sell monkeys here?" Or "Can I pay by airplane?" Instant classics.